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McDonald's: Food of Olympic Champions!
Have you heard the news?
McDonald’s is the official restaurant of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics!
And they’ve been the official food provider for the previous 7 consecutive games! What an honor for our athletes!
I’m not sure why I didn’t discover the association between McDonald’s and the Olympics earlier. It makes perfect sense.
I’ll break it down for you. There are four main reasons why McDonald’s is the obvious choice to be the official restaurant of the Olympics from now until the end of time…
1 – Of course, it’s the food of choice for elite athletes around the world!
Just take a look at this official press release from US Olympic team. But just in case you’re rushing out the door for that healthy McNugget and don’t have time to read the whole thing, I’ll give you an excerpt:
“Athletes continue to tell us they love our quality food when training or celebrating wins at the Games, and it’s one of the reasons we’re proud to be the only brand serving them as the Official Restaurant of the Olympic Games,” McDonald’s chief marketing officer Mary Dillon said.
See… They actually eat the food while simultaneously training! AWESOME!
2 – McDonald’s has tons of money to spend at the Olympics.
Thanks to the brains in the McDonald’s corporate headquarters, they expertly save money by underpaying their employees. See here! Or just read the quote below – that Big Mac is waiting for you and it won’t eat itself!
“British Columbia has the lowest minimum wage in Canada at $8 an hour. It has been frozen for eight years. However, McDonald’s in the Lower Mainland use the so-called training wage to lower starting salaries to as little as $6.35 an hour.”
“Training wage.” I wouldn’t have thought of that. It’s pure OLYMPIC GENIUS AWESOME!
3 -The food has secret ingredients that give you super-human strength.
Yeah, you heard me. You eat at McDonald’s and you become super-freakin’-human!
If you don’t have to rush off to accept your gold medal on an Olympic podium, you can read the full ingredients list for McDonald’s food.
But just in case they’re waiting to play your anthem, here’s a sampling:
Chicken McNugget
Chicken, water, salt, modified corn starch, sodium phosphates, chicken broth powder (chicken broth, salt, and natural flavoring (chicken source)), seasoning (vegetable oil, extracts of rosemary, mono, di- and triglycerides, lecithin). Battered and breaded with water, enriched bleached wheat flour (niacin, iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), yellow corn flour, bleached wheat flour, modified corn starch, salt, leavening (baking soda, sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate, calcium lactate), spices, wheat starch, dried whey, corn starch. Batter set in vegetable shortening. Cooked in partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, (may contain partially hydrogenated soybean oil and/or partially hydrogenated corn oil and/or partially hydrogenated canola oil and/or cottonseed oil and/or sunflower oil and/or corn oil). TBHQ and citric acid added to help preserve freshness. Dimethylpolysiloxane added as an anti-foaming agent.
Umm… did you catch the last 2 ingredients?!
The first preserves your “freshness!” Now we know the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s secret.
And the other keeps you from “foaming,” I presume, at the mouth when you become a super-human-incredible-hulk-attack-dog!
That is AWESOMENESS SQUARED!!
And get this… In 2002, someone actually tried to sue the fantastic restaurant chain and the judge came to McDonald’s defense when he said:
Chicken McNuggets are a “McFrankenstein” creation of various elements…”
He obviously recognized the pure animalistic effects those golden poppers can have on the human body.
4 – Last but not least, McDonald’s is GREEN!
Yup. They reduce, reuse and recycle whenever possible. Just look at this picture…
Those toothpicks are whittled from the same club that was used to force the “unusually large breasted” chickens into the “grinder and mechanical separator” that turns them into the delicious food of champions. That’s FOOD-OF-THE-GODS AWWWWWWWESOME!!!
